I have located the secret Nickelodeon Gak reserves.

I have located the secret Nickelodeon Gak reserves.

Invasion of the Neptune Men final aerial battle, uncut, unriffed.

You’re welcome

Shamu doesn’t “rock”

He’s not even a real whale.

He’s just a creation of our own human stupidity.

behind-the-aquarium-glass:

I’ve seen some stupid pro-caps comments on different websites, but that’s (under photo of Ulises) actually killed me. “Let’s keep the goddamn whales in marine parks because they have pecs and dorsals and other stuff, and marine parks always have ability to inseminate females when they want to get more of these pecs, dorsals, etc.!”What the hell.

Kinda hard for me to stay neutral in the whole captivity debate when this is the sort of intellectual firepower the Pro side displays on a daily basis.

behind-the-aquarium-glass:

I’ve seen some stupid pro-caps comments on different websites, but that’s (under photo of Ulises) actually killed me. “Let’s keep the goddamn whales in marine parks because they have pecs and dorsals and other stuff, and marine parks always have ability to inseminate females when they want to get more of these pecs, dorsals, etc.!”
What the hell.

Kinda hard for me to stay neutral in the whole captivity debate when this is the sort of intellectual firepower the Pro side displays on a daily basis.

Now I’m turning on…my invisible electromagnetic ray screen…which forms a protective shield over our faces.

Was Warrior of the Lost World's audio recorded inside of a coffee can inside of a sewage pipe inside of a cave?

Rough sex hair.

Rough sex hair.

Wait a minute…all the gummy mints have Colitis?

Wow, people are incredibly butthurt about a 48-year old business having to adjust it’s business model because the public at large doesn’t have the same attitude about using animals for entertainment that they did in the 1960s.

Am I the only person who’s ever noticed the little model ship deadeyes glued to the alien’s hands?

hms-surprise:

Details of a rig.

Deadeyes

hms-surprise:

Details of a rig.

Deadeyes

I’ve come to the conclusion that climatic golf cart chase at the end of Space Mutiny is one of the few moments of pure cinematic art out there. Everyone involved had to be aware that absolutely no one could possibly take the finished sequence seriously.

Every detail of the sequence is perfectly wrong. Every line that comes out of John Philip Law’s mouth, the fact that the entire scene takes place in a rundown factory passing as a futuristic spaceship, Reb Brown’s incomprehensible guttural roar of “LEEEEEEEEEEUUUUGGHHHH!” followed by him gingerly dismounting his Enforcer, the cartoony sparks added to the Enforcer collisions to try to make it look like there’s some “power” behind them, the idea that Leeeeeeeeeuuughhhh could actually be knocked unconscious by one of those things, the dozens of point-blank laser blasts that miss by yards, the limp synthesized chorus playing through the whole scene, the tremendous fiery explosion at the end… nobody creates something so unintentionally hilarious unintentionally. They had to be serious that the scene isn’t actually serious. The entire sequence is pitch-perfect comedic genius, the fact that dozens of heroic counter-mutineers die tragic railing-based deaths in the previous 15 minutes be damned.


Yeah, I’m bummed that Robin Williams died. I still don’t think anything he ever did was quite as funny as the last five minutes of Space Mutiny.

So, I was walking through the park today, and saw a six-year old boy chasing after a flock of Canada Geese with a stick in one hand, throwing rocks at them with the other, while his parents looked on in amusement. This spectacle went on for a good ten minutes. The boy even chased the Geese into a corner of the pond and kept throwing rocks at them.


Parents: if you don’t want to wake up one morning to find out your Son’s face has been ripped off by a Grizzly Bear, stop teaching them to be dipshits around wild animals.

Attention ShopRite Customers

Pointing at the monitor does not actually make the prices go down.